My options? Either lose said Ucard (a 20$ value) within a couple days or buy a geeky plastic ID protector that clearly screams, "I love my face so much I want to keep it with me always in this protective case!!!!" Yeah. Either option isn't exactly appealing.
I miss my old Ucard. We had such good times together...me walking through the softly filtering sunlight of the Utah campus and it, faithfully dangling by my side from the same lanyard that holds all my keys. I used to laugh as the HC people struggled to swipe my card with the weight of all those keys. And there was that one time that the swiper lady at the Union wouldn't let me get chips with my transfer meal. I watched with vindictive pleasure as she swiped my loyal Ucard several times, getting more frustrated as the moments passed, until finally she had to give in and just type in my number. Lame card swiper lady: 0, Team Marie & Ucard: 1. It had my back even then.
When the guy at the Ucard office asked to see my ID card, I didn't realize I'd be handing it over for the last time. After all, I just needed to get a digital fingerprint attached to it so I could get into the animal lab portion of South Biology. (Said animal lab is under like three levels of high security...fingerprint, ID card, keys.) I pulled my lanyard out of my backpack and set it down, keys, mini flashlight, Ucard and all with a janglng plop. The guy stared at the resulting mess on his counter, before closing his eyes as if praying for patience and saying, "I need you to take it off that." Obligingly I handed my faithful card over, not realizing that it would be the last time I ever saw it. He stared at it for a moment, eyes widened in disgust that someone would actually punch a hole through one of his precious cards before throwing it in the trash. "This new card will have a proximity chip, so you can't punch a hole in it," was all he said before printing off and handing me what was to be the replacement for my old friend.
I took it and examined it closely. The background is too dark. It says 'For Campus Use Only'. And whereas my picture was stretched out height-wise before, on this one my face is stretched width-wise, meaning I vaguly resemble a chipmunk who has just had his wisdom teeth removed. Fantastic. Its going to be an awesome year...
RIP Old Ucard.
You are gone, but never forgotten.
May you frolic amongst the lilies in Ucard heaven, and smile down upon us all from above.
Have a nice day.
