Christmas numbers.

Back when I was a wee little lass (yes, I definitely was Scottish in those days) I used to count how many presents under the Christmas tree had my name on them. I didn't do that this year...mostly because I couldn't find where my mom had labeled them. We open our presents on Christmas Eve anyway, so thats over and done. (My mom always claimed it was some German tradition, but I just think she didn't want to deal with an over-excited child at 5 AM.) However, in the spirit of my inner child, and because I should really be writing a talk right now, I feel like listing off some other things I've counted on this Christmas day.

Number of...

Books downloaded onto my new Kindle: 27

Massive slices of chocolate cake devoured: 3

Episodes of Lost watched: 5

Times I've pondered on the parallels between Lost and Lord of the Flies: 8

Dollars I spent buying Lord of the Flies so I could re-read it to better understand said parallels: 7 

Times I've wondered how big of a nerd that makes me: .....1 actually. Just now.

Hours slept in past eight: 4

Times I told myself I was going to start writing my talk: 32

Times I've actually prepared to start writing said talk: 4

Words of talk actually written: 0

Blog entries written instead of talk: 2 (1 unpublished for now)

Weird, depressing, opera-ish songs about being weary listened to: too many (aka 1)

Thankful prayers said for not having an awkward family dinner this year: 3

Houses driven to specifically to see their Christmas lights: 1

Realizations that Christmas lights can be kind of ugly sometimes: 1

Yep...all in all a productive Christmas?

Have a nice day!!

Oh! One last thing.....

Getting lost in Lost.

I came home to find that my parents had gotten Netflix to use with the Wii. Bad idea!! 2 days and 15 episodes later I'm starting to realize that the only thing I'm going to accomplish this break is watching every single season of Lost. Oh, that and knocking down a massive, 30-cookie box of those sugar cookies with the colorful frosting all by myself.

And heaven help me if I DON'T finish Lost by the time next semester starts. See...I found out that I can also get Netflicks on my laptop, which wouldn't be a big deal if I had some form of self control. But I don't. And the thing about watching TV shows not on the TV is that they always end in some form of cliff hanger to keep people tuning in next week. (Whats going to happen with Claire's baby! I HAVE to know!) But when you don't have to wait until next week, its just so hard to not keep watching. Even now I'm sitting on the couch in front of the TV struggling with myself. It's like being an alcoholic. (11 AM is too early for a drink, right? I think to myself.)

The other issue is that I've heard that the series finale was really stupid...what's the point of spending hours and hours watching Lost if the ending is lame? Not that I could just walk away now...self control issues, remember? Oh well. If you need me, I'll be watching Lost.

Have a nice day!

On the tenth day of Christmas, or why Christmas is kind of overrated.

I have a confession to make. This may come as a shocker, but I don't love Christmas.

(Which, with all the emphasis everyone puts on it kind of makes me feel like I'm some sort of freak.)

Let me explain. When I was little, what do you think Christmas was about? Thats right...presents! I would start counting down from like February until that happy day where I could unwrap the veritable mountain of boxes with my name on them. Then I would spend the next two days in a blissful Barbie/Lego/Computer game coma. Now that I'm older though presents don't really mean that much. It's been a few years since I've gotten anything really all that exciting that I didn't know about before hand. ("Thanks for the Dustbuster, Mom! Its exactly what I asked for!") Which, you know, not really a big deal. Presents are pretty overrated. 

So since I can't be excited for what I was when I was little, what does that leave me? Pretty lights? Hot cocoa? Extremely cheesy music on the radio? I know that logically Christmas is supposed to be celebrating Christ's birth, but I also know logically that Christ was actually born in April...(unless you're the astrologist guy on the shuttle, then He was born on March 3, 5 BC, at 9:30 in the morning) which makes Easter a bigger deal than Christmas. Maybe Christmas has sort of become like Twilight to me. Something that was cool when it was more of a personal enjoyment, but once everyone else started freaking out about it and making money off it, it lost any appeal it may have once had.

Now before you decide to exile me to Mount Crumpet with my dog Max, there are a couple things about Christmas that I do enjoy. First off, I LOVE to give the perfect gift. LOVE LOVE LOVE. This is really hard to do sometimes, but when the fates align and I manage to pull it off...best. feeling. ever. The other thing I love about Christmas is watching Elf. Elf is just one of those movies that I've seen about a jillion times, but it still makes me laugh so hard I want to cry. ("Fraaaaansisco! Thats fun to say!")

So I don't know. I tried to make an effort this year to be really excited. Sadly, my efforts mostly included changing my laptop's wallpaper to something sort of Christmasy and doing this whole 12 days of Christmas blog thing, which I'll admit, is pretty half-baked at best. Maybe I could have a better attitude about Christmas if it just wasn't so commercialized, if I didn't feel like by celebrating it I was some crazy person just following a fad. 

Oh well, what can you do right?

Have a nice day!

On the eleventh day of Christmas.

Dear finals,

Thank you for leading me to discover an awesome little out-of-the-way niche in the library. Its quiet. It has zen-like appeal. And the best part? Hardly anyone knows where it is! No longer do I have to listen people yell "If I sound really quiet it's because I'm in the library!" into their phones. No longer am I subjected to the life and times of that really annoying girl sitting behind me bemoaning to her friend all about how her roommate won't pick up her laundry. No longer must I try to block out the make-out sounds of the couple in the chair next to mine.

Studying nirvana = best Christmas present I could ever hope from you? I believe so!

Thanks again,
Marie

P.S. As always, have a nice day!

On the twelfth day of Christmas.

Dear Santa,

I know its been a while since you heard from me last, but I feel as though I am entering that stage of life where it gets hard to figure out what I want for Christmas. Therefore, in order to make your job easier I have compiled a handy list for your viewing pleasure. 

1. A real, live reindeer. Preferably one that makes purring noises when you pet it.
2. A Lego castle, the kind I could actually live in.
3. A one-way ticket to whatever planet Avatar was filmed on. (Because its a documentary, I know it is!)
4. A full twenty-four hours in which I don't lose my keys.
5. The ability to use the Force.
6. A reserved parking spot outside my house on Officers Circle.
7. Thirty-seven gallons of glow-in-the-dark paint.
8. The Pope's hat.
9.  A tree house in the rain forest.
10. Motivation.
11. A law that states that its legal for me to sell marijuana to fund my college education.
12. A snowman made out of birthday cake ice creme.

So that's it, in no particular order. Although if you could hit me with a strong dose of number ten sometime before Wednesday it would be greatly appreciated. Hope all is well with you! Merry Christmas!

Sincerely,

Marie

P.S. Have a nice day! 

Things I learned this semester.

Well...its that time of year again! One week of finals and my sophomore year is halfway over! Whoo! Its funny though, because without a doubt those big, bad, scary finals will not cover the most important things I've learned this semester. Namely...

• Living in a house with a 10:2 girl:guy ration girls isn't as obnoxious as I thought it was going to be.
• Getting missionary letters is awesome. Actually, getting any mail at all is awesome. Even junk mail. "Hey! This random shoe company knows I exist! I'm so popular!"
• Age old idioms lie, sometimes there isn't a tomorrow.
• And sometimes hope is just a pesky feeling you want to get rid of.
• But thats ok. Life goes on.
• Andy Hoffman is basically the best professor of all time. The end.
• Racquetball is an excellent class in which to meet boys.
• Ironically so is the Presidents Circle shuttle stop...
• My driving skills improve dramatically when I'm upset, and take a definite dive when I feel calm. Take that every statistic I've ever seen! You lose!
• Midnight showings are sometimes really not worth the effort.
• First dates are awkward, but this isn't always my fault.
• Nathanael is a perfectly acceptable name for a little boy.
• Sometimes one cricket trapped under a plastic tube can magically turn into two.
• And then disappear.
• And then reincarnate as a carton full of mice.
• But only if you work in a lab.
• Sometimes its ok to feed the chipmunks.
• Never date anyone with an oxygen tank.
• Or anyone who says they are majoring in jet pack construction.
• Or anyone who refuses to speed, j walk, or play with face cards.
• Facebook stalking someone is probably not a good idea.
• But I'll keep doing it anyways.
• Mormon crickets can be hilarious.
• So can the word banana.
• It takes more than blond hair to be a Jensen.
• Devonte Christopher is a black guy.
• And John Stockton is white.
• Bent spoons can sometimes be named bent spoon.
• Writing papers at 4 AM the day they're due can get you recommended for a writing internship.
• LUST actually means "Large Underground Storage Unit"
• You can make the sentence "I won't throw it at your face" mean about 7 different things by putting the emphasis on different words.
• Having great friends can make an average year truely magical. (And I mean that literally. We have wands.)

Have a nice day!

Awkward family photos.

Whilst I was in the happy state of Arizona, my mom decided we needed to do some family photos. Some turned out pretty good, but others...well they turned out ridiculously awkward. And I love them! Since odds are they won't make it into the Christmas card, I decided to put them up here.

So this picture looked super legit...until I did auto curves
on Photoshop and suddenly this random bird appeared...

I was told this picture says a lot about me...hmm.

This is what happens when we tell my dad not to squint...

God? Are you really up there?

Bah ha ha!

What the? Who are these people? Why are they half concealed
by a random palm bush? Why does the man look like
such a creeper?

I wasn't really sure what was going on...my mom just told me
to stick my head through this.

Seven Deadly Facebook Sins.

Facebook is a funny place. What is it about us that makes us want to share every pathetic, tiny detail about our lives with hundreds of people? (John Ashby just clipped his toenails?? WHAT! Thats amazing!!) But some things are just plain annoying/hilarious. I like to call them the seven deadly Facebook sins...and I'm sure we've all been guilty of them at one time or another.

1. The Passive-Agressive Angsty Facebook Status-
You know the type, the one where someone wants to lash out at someone specific (usually of the opposite gender) while being just vague enough to make us all crazy with curiosity. Example: John Ashby hates this! Why do I have to feel this way? Why does she have make my day so great all the time? The funny thing with this type of status is that inevitably 6 or 7 suckers will comment on his status asking whats wrong or text him to figure out whats going on. Not because any of them care really, but because his status was so vague and full of deep emotional pain that there must be a good story there somewhere....or not.

2. The Awkward Profile Picture-
Ah the infamous profile picture. The one that isn't really supposed to mean anything, but we all know that secretly hundreds of people are judging us based solely on this one little image. Which makes me wonder why people do things like this:
Use a picture of a cute little animal- Yes, we all know that a tiny little frog is probably better looking than your face, but please. Unless you were bitten by a were-frog and that is an awesome shot of you during the full moon, restrain yourself.
Use an anime cartoon- For the last time, ANIME IS NOT REAL! Get over yourself.
Use a shot of them and a significant other kissing- You know how awkward it is to watch people make out in public? Well this is like the never-ending awkward makeout scene. Wow they're still kissing? Its been like 6 months now!
Use a picture of them as a baby- Lets be real here. All babies look the same. You were no cuter as a 1 year old than the bearded lady.

3. The Generic Profile Picture-
This one is closely related to The Awkward Profile Picture, but is so obnoxious that it gets a category all its own. How do you take a generic profile picture? .
Step One- If you're a girl put on a REEEEEALLY tight shirt, if you're a guy take off your shirt
Step Two- Head to the nearest bathroom
Step Three- Whip out your cell phone
Step Four- Make a "sexy" pose in front of the mirror and snap a photo with your phone
Newsflash! Its really hard for anyone to take you seriously when there's a toilet very obviously in the background. But on the upside, thats a really nice phone. Really.

4. The "I'm so popular" Status-
Example: John Ashby is going to Starbucks with Mary Sue Ellen, Peter Ross, Stephanie LaMount, Ti Ling Ju, Hitler, and Forest Gump. You don't need to inform all 1500 of your Facebook friends (many of which probably don't even know you) that you have a life. The very fact that you parade such a simple thing as going to Starbucks as such big news makes us suspicious. And slightly annoyed we weren't invited.

5. Farmville-
I'm pretty sure Farmville was a game invented by someone who needed to drive away all his friends. No! For the last time! I'm not going to give you a shovel goshdangit!

6. Combining Profiles-
So SandraandLuke Yergensen, who am I talking to exactly? Do I need to feel alarmed that you just posted something on my wall about plans to go shoe shopping? I mean really, how hard is it to make two profiles? I doubt when your husband married you, the foremost thought on his mind was "Yes!! I no longer need to look after my own Facebook profile!!" And if that was the case I highly doubt you will be SandraandLuke Yergensen for long anyway.

7. Relationship Blunders-
Relationships, relationships, relationships. Holy hannah there is so much I could say!
#1- The whole relationship status thing? Stupidest idea ever. While its nice to flaunt your significant other in the faces of all your friends, once the relationship is no more it just becomes awkward. Its like having a very messy, very public break up fight in a big room with everyone you've ever met, including your fourth grade teacher.
#2- If you went somewhere interesting together and took pictures, then by all means, post em. But if its just you and your significant other sitting on the couch making out, nobody wants to see that. I think deep down, even you don't want to see it. Watching yourself devour someone else's face is bound to either make you very hungry or deeply disturbed.
#3- The worst Facebook sin ever is placing your significant other's name in your info either under activities or worse, religion. I'm glad you have no life outside your lover. No really, I am.

Have a nice day!

This is what we do in the honors house.

Tonight I found out that I can dictate to my computer and it will type for me. Unfortunately its not very accurate, however it definitely makes some interesting stories, like the one below:

Marie Equals Awesome

By Marie Tuft and Steven Rose

Steve AND the latter time stolen from marie a great person who is completely innocent of everything.  Then Marie’S trolls and baldwin’s came to steal Stevens treasures which were kind of lame anyway so really it got off the hook.  And then the ferries of a delete that word-off of that elite that word periods could.  And then the berries FAIRES came in and threw Marie tuft from a cliff.  But not every person gets thrown off a cliff.  Only the really bad ones in like Steve who is really gone off the cliff AkA crazy.  The data: shows that Hungary is not tight as he loves its keys to know everything.  Commemorate the passing of Marie the dragons all the feast at Steve.  He was the guest of honor was days I stand at eight o’clock PM at the right time of life.  They all these they Don murray’s she hates 16 candles and in the hands of themRan curse and doomed forever.  Thus we seem more out-of-wax than the average candle maker a strains and amazing feat.  So what do we learn from this?  That’s not read an average textbook and muttered PM if F-that stuff and sat upon Italics to love only to chicken out and die as lowly as Steve ahead and prosper as you read it had all of the important things to know.  And number one was Steve.  That’s not too name change in net of a a N a lot of identity of a kid area in a lion played on and am.  Thank you.  It seems that the computer just like thieves better like six Lanes to go bird watching an Alabama lawmen.  It shows knots in the box from a giant turtle.  If turn owns twice I had the good seats house OK about his aunt and ½ new sneakers.

I think my favorite line is "F-that stuff and sat upon Italics, to love, only to chicken out and die as lowly as Steve." Great stuff! Its almost poetic like...and disses on Steve at the same time! Whoo! 

Have a nice day.

In the far distant future.

Back when my good friend Kimberly Christensen was getting married, I was bored one night. So I googled wedding dresses. This isn't exactly a normal activity for me...marriage isn't something that I think about a whole lot. But I guess with all the wedding fever going around I couldn't help myself. Ironically, I found the perfect wedding dress for me. Which I know isn't going to be available when I ACTUALLY get married ha ha. Just my luck right? Anyways...this is the dress I'd want.

Mmmhmm. If I was the weird type of person who orders their wedding dress like sixty years in advance I would probably have this dress in my possession by tomorrow. But I think I'm going to have to restrain myself from jumping on the dress-buying bandwagon. Oh well. Such is life.

Have a nice day.

To the owner of this red car.

Dear Sir or Madam.
If I knew who you were, I'd probably say I like, even admire, you as a person. But since I don't have the faintest clue as to your identity, all I'm going to say is this: I really want to punch you in the face! Your car is the most annoying thing about parking on the circle aside from the stupid sidewalk-dip spots that aren't parking but should be. Why is this? Because your car NEVER MOVES! From the time I moved in until Labor Day it was sitting in the prime spot outside my house. Thats a full month! Luckily after that someone else took that spot, but now that you're back I feel I must say something. How is it fair that those of us who do use our cars on a regular basis have to park in the reject parking by Sage Point just because you decided that your car makes for a lovely lawn ornament? Why do you need it so close anyway? Because it brightens your morning every time you walk out of your house and see it? Because you have some convoluted notion that if you park your car out of your sight someones going to steal it? Newsflash! Your car sucks! No one wants it! So unless you plan on actually using it, please, do us all a favor and get it out of the circle before someone finally cracks and attacks it with a baseball bat.

And, as always....

Have a nice day.

The Smoldering Ruins of My Heart.

Here's to all the ironies of life.

My whole digital storytelling project is about the little things in Monroe that are kind of quirky that don't change much. Photographing those items was my whole point in coming home this weekend. One of these is that house that stole the prom bridge and put it outside in their yard as a lawn ornament. I always secretly thought that was so awesome! Talking about it takes up a pretty sizable chunk in my project. Well...so this evening I drove past on my way to Wal Mart and this is all that was left of said house:

Its pretty hard to make out since this is a cell phone picture taken at night, but that little light is the smoldering ruins of what used to be the most epic building in Monroe, the house with the prom bridge out front. 

RIP Prom bridge house...you will forever remain in my heart :(

Have a nice day!

The Passive-Aggressive Bathroom Snatch.

When you live in a house of 10 girls, there's a lot of passive-aggressiveness that goes on. We females just aren't built for genuine tell-it-like-it-is aggressivity. But probably my favorite maneuver that I see all the time (I'm just as guilty of it as the next person) is a little number I like to call the Passive-Aggressive Bathroom Snatch. It goes something like this:

Person A: Well, I think I'm ready to head to bed. Its getting late!
Person B: Yeah, same here. I think I'm just going to finish this up first though.
Person A: (Gathers stuff up and heads for room) Goodnight Person B! I'll see you in the morning!
Person B: (Sits for a moment, waiting, watching)
Person A: (Walks completely into room to put stuff away, out of sight of Person B)
Person B: (Leaps from chair and books it into the bathroom to brush teeth, take out contacts, get ready for bed, etc)
Person A: (Walks out of room just in time to see the bathroom door slam shut and hear the lock click with awful finality)

Passive-Aggressive Bathroom Snatch. Its real. Tell all your friends.

Have a nice day.

To the Girl in my Ecology class.

You ask me if I've talked to my dad about the water issues surrounding the production of alfalfa, then look down on me when I say I haven't. Well. Let me tell you something.

Its easy for you to judge looking from the outside in. You've never lived on a farm. You've never been a part of my family. So let me give you a picture of my dad's farming business.

My father has grown alfalfa for a good portion of his life. And he's dang good at it. He knows when to cut, rake, and bale in order keep the leaves on the stem inside the bale. Thats where all the nutrients come from, and its no easy task. He knows which crops are going to give the best hay (4 is usually really good, whilst 3 is pretty crappy). He's obsessive about weeds and weed control. There have been many times that I've had to go through windrows pulling out weeds that somehow made it through the control measures. Consequently the Relative Feed Value number for our alfalfa is usually in the 190's to 200's, well above the 150 cut off required for prime feed.

Our hay is so good there really isn't a market for it in Utah. So we ship to California. A man by the name of Paul Cordinez buys basically all our good hay. And its not uncommon to get anywhere from 175-210 dollars a ton depending on the hay market. Its a sweet set up.

And now you're giving me that look because I've never asked him to grow anything else. Me, the nineteen year old daughter who has never had any interest in farming, but benefited from it nonetheless. I wouldn't be here if it were for the family business. What gives you the right to look down on me from your lofty tower of ideals and judge me and my father for something you don't even understand? There is always two sides to every story, and perhaps you should take that into consideration before you start going off about how things will never be resolved if there isn't an open dialog in the home. Did it ever occur to you that this might be one dialog I don't want to open?

Have a nice day.

When the Mask Slips

An oldie, but a goodie. Its funny but you can totally tell I wrote this during ACCESS...hence all the science terms.

Masks were a part of every day life for Vanessa. She was the proud owner of a collection, a different mask for every occasion, polished up and held ready in that corner of the brain where a personality is supposed to be. 

There was the superficial mask she used at every ball she had attended, full of “Thanks you sir”’s and “Pardon me madam”’s. It was a mask full of bubbling social politeness. Then there was the mask she wore for her friends. Snobbish and rude, behind the gaping eyeholes of this mask she could say pretty much anything she wanted. Reputations were punctured, gossip was spread, and the pointless activities of yesterday’s news were discussed in high twittering voices and double layers of meaning. 

A different mask for every occasion, as numerous and variable as life itself. 

But lately in the dark quiet of her bed chambers, she could sometimes feel the masks slipping away, disintegrating into a thousand pieces of fantasy mixed in with a million shards of intangible dreams. Without it, she felt no more substantial than a wisp of nothingness, fragile, delicate, easily blown about on every wind of criticism. 

Who was Vanessa really? 

It was a question that she, herself didn’t really want an answer too, but somehow, deep down in the nether regions of her soul, she knew it was a question that had to be answered. And so naturally, she fought with every atom, every molecule, every teeny tiny piece of somethin--that same soul maybe--to keep those masks in place, polished, primped, and ready to go at any moment. She felt like she would be nothing without them, her all-purpose selection of identities. 

And so she cracked, cracked under the combined weight of millions of masks, millions of personalities. 

It happened that fateful day in the garden with Liam, her chosen suitor of the month. She could trace the supernova of her sanity, and therefore status, back to one single instant of weakness. The moment her mask slipped away for just a second. 

One question led to her ultimate demise. One question that had been burning away inside of her, slowly eroding the wide-eyed mask of vapid admiration she wore to stave off Liam’s dull monologue of rice exports and boarder conflicts. It pounded through her bloodstream, a nagging sliver forcing its way deeper into her body with every beat of her heart until the only thing she could hear was a mad rushing sound in her ears. The pressure built and built until she thought she would surely burst. 

Suddenly she realized that Liam was staring at her curiously.“Princess? Is there something wrong? You appear to be quite…indisposed.” 

She shoved down the mad urge to laugh. Indisposed hardly seemed to capture the scope of it. 

Why PETA is Ruining My Life.

I had to get a new Ucard today. A stupid new-fangled Ucard that you can't hole punch due to the stupid new-fangled proximity chip thingy. What in tarnation!

My options? Either lose said Ucard (a 20$ value) within a couple days or buy a geeky plastic ID protector that clearly screams, "I love my face so much I want to keep it with me always in this protective case!!!!" Yeah. Either option isn't exactly appealing.

I miss my old Ucard. We had such good times together...me walking through the softly filtering sunlight of the Utah campus and it, faithfully dangling by my side from the same lanyard that holds all my keys. I used to laugh as the HC people struggled to swipe my card with the weight of all those keys. And there was that one time that the swiper lady at the Union wouldn't let me get chips with my transfer meal. I watched with vindictive pleasure as she swiped my loyal Ucard several times, getting more frustrated as the moments passed, until finally she had to give in and just type in my number. Lame card swiper lady: 0, Team Marie & Ucard: 1. It had my back even then.

When the guy at the Ucard office asked to see my ID card, I didn't realize I'd be handing it over for the last time. After all, I just needed to get a digital fingerprint attached to it so I could get into the animal lab portion of South Biology. (Said animal lab is under like three levels of high security...fingerprint, ID card, keys.) I pulled my lanyard out of my backpack and set it down, keys, mini flashlight, Ucard and all with a janglng plop. The guy stared at the resulting mess on his counter, before closing his eyes as if praying for patience and saying, "I need you to take it off that." Obligingly I handed my faithful card over, not realizing that it would be the last time I ever saw it. He stared at it for a moment, eyes widened in disgust that someone would actually punch a hole through one of his precious cards before throwing it in the trash. "This new card will have a proximity chip, so you can't punch a hole in it," was all he said before printing off and handing me what was to be the replacement for my old friend.

I took it and examined it closely. The background is too dark. It says 'For Campus Use Only'. And whereas my picture was stretched out height-wise before, on this one my face is stretched width-wise, meaning I vaguly resemble a chipmunk who has just had his wisdom teeth removed. Fantastic. Its going to be an awesome year...

RIP Old Ucard.

 You are gone, but never forgotten. 

May you frolic amongst the lilies in Ucard heaven, and smile down upon us all from above.

Have a nice day.

As Seen on the Shuttle.

This is why guys shouldn't shave their legs...

Its hard to see, since I was totally snipeing this picture. But that dark shadow on the top of the guys leg to the left is thick man leg hair. The creepy thing was that the line between shaven and non shaven hair very neat and even...

Have a nice day.

From the Eyes of a Lefty.

I recently took a test to see how many more years I have left of life based on my lifestyle. Unfortunately it deducted like two or three years off my lifespan because I was left handed. Apparently the stress of living in a right handed world is going to get me in the end...what a way to go!

But that got me thinking...it really is kind of stressful to be left handed. I mean, the only advantage other than epic coolness is trickiness on the sports field. I mean, look at all the things we left handed folk have to put up with:

• right handed scissors-adjust or never cut paper again!
• right handed desks-super annoying...nuff said
• writing the english language-left to right? come on people!
• writing anything on a marker board-everything thats written is immediately erased by your hand
• using a computer mouse-always on the right side of the keyboard...always!
• track pad on a laptop-my latest laptop finally got a track pad where you can switch up the buttons
• credit card machines-swipey deal is always on the right, same with the pen to sign
• gearshifts in cars-I guess if I was european it wouldn't be an issue
• shaking hands-I always carry my stuff in my right hand..and thats the one everyone wants to shake
• learning sports-I've gotten really good with mirroring what coaches show me. Unfortunately...
• dancing-due to my automatic mirroring impulses dancing is now impossible to learn
• arm wrestling-either way someone always has an unfair advantage
• table setting-the cups are always on the right, which makes things awkward
• eating in general-unless you exile yourself to the outside you're always bumping arms with someone
• safety button on power tools-apparently if you're left handed you deserve to lose fingers
• take picture button on cameras-always on the right
• guitar hero-was a pain before they invented lefty flip
• tv control things at the field house-on the right handle of the machines
• corsages-my good friend Rachel Gale told me they're supposed to go on the left of your shirt, but if you're pinning it on yourself and you are left handed...yeah...
• ignition in cars-on the right side
• stereo in cars-same deal
• my parents water pik-super awkward to use if you're left handed

Its weird, but after looking at this list, I kind of wonder what my life would be like if I were right handed. Would it really be that much more convenient?

Have a nice day.

Goal Setting is for Wierdos.

It seems like college is a time for goal setting. EVERYONE has some sort of goal, usually reflected by whatever major they choose. (with some exceptions...Gender Studies major??? Whaaaa?) I have a lot of random goals. Some big. Some pretty basic. Like right now. Basic goal? Make it through till next weekend without some sort of major breakdown. Long term goal? Become as cool as this woman--

Mmmm...favorite.

Have a nice day.

Utenited?

Today my good friend Amanda and I were taking a walk after dinner. We decided that going through the gazebo would be kind of a fun plan. While there, we got distracted by a huge fuzzy bee that was just sitting on the railing. Apparently we were staring at it for several minutes when an older man came over and introduced himself as Dave Figgy and asked us if we were there for utenited. We weren't and didn't even have any idea what it was. However, we talked for a bit. Dave was a really cool guy! But soon he had to go off to his utenited duties, so Amanda and I settled in the grass to watch some boys play soccer.

Then some random kid on a bike came over and told us to come get some cookies and join in the utenited fun. So we though, eh. What the heck. Every one there was way cool and super nice! We found out that utenited is basically a Christian group on campus that meets every once in a while for bible study, etc. It was a little awkward to be there as an LDS person because I don't think they generally get much of the LDS population involved in their program.

We did pick up these little numbers:

All flyers talking about utenited events. I was a little confused at first by the red
one, as its for a male bible study session, but the back side is for the female counterpart.

I think Amanda and I are going to go to one of their events. I mean, heck, why not! The people were really cool and it can't hurt. I'm way curious about what they talk about, and, even though I'm not looking for a religion/religious group per se, I still think it might be really interesting. 

All that from stopping to look at a fuzzy bee in a gazebo...this is why I love the U!

Have a nice day.

My Three Closets.

I got moved in to my new living space today. And this is what I discovered...

Yep, thats right. They gave me a closet of my very own! Whoo! But wait...just in case I didn't have enough space to hang all my clothes...

YES FOLKS! Its true! They've given me ANOTHER closet! Unfortunately I don't have enough clothes to fill up this second closet. But...just in case I did...

TA-DAAAA!!!

What the heck am I supposed to do with three closets???????

Have a nice day.

Summertime: Lists and Dang Good Memories.

As I was packing up my stuff, I found a list I wrote in May of everything I wanted to do this summer. Needless to say, there was not very much I could cross off said list. Which is unfortunate. However, there are several things I could add.

I converted this storage container into a home fit for...well maybe not a king
 exactly, but a migrant worker would definitely find it adequate.

.

Ta-Da!! Four months of hard labor later...

I watched approximately 40 hours of
 Star Trek: Voyager in threeish weeks.
Mostly for this man...and because 
I'm a nerd.

I unintentionally stalked this kid  at one in the morning.
And then picture-napped this photo off Facebook...

I bought this car, and then cried over how much it cost me.

I learned that DI does actually have some cute clothes...
you just have to be inventive.

I said a wrenching goodbye to two of my best friends for two years...
and then promptly got over it.
Well, sort of.

I finally visited the
Mystic Hot Springs,
 and basked in the epicness of it.

I survived the Richfield Singles Ward without killing
anybody... a feat of amazing mental control.

I almost snuck in and went hot tubbing in a motel.

I participated in the best toilet papering job the Frandsen
home has ever seen. Not bad for a beginner...

 I learned how to use basic power tools,
 although the subtleties of  the
 whole "righty tighty, lefty losey" thing
 is still lost on me.

I lost my heart to an adorable kitten who then ripped it to shreds,

much as he tore apart my arm.

But most of all I learned a little bit about myself and the relationships I have with other people.

None of these may be as exciting as going sky diving, or visiting the Hoh Rainforest in Washington, but they still made my summer amazing. And I'm infinitely more grateful for my wonderful friends and family.

Now I move back to college tomorrow and I'm not entirely sure what to expect. I'm a little anxious about going, but another thing I learned this summer is that this home is too small for three adults to reside peacefully. So goodbye Monroe, UT and hello again SLC!

Have a nice day.

The First Post!!

Well. Here it is. On this the 19th of August, 2010 I make my maiden voyage on the sea they call...BLOGGING! *insert triumphant music* We aren't well acquainted yet....but here's to a future full of many posts and insightful statements about life. I christen thee "Living on the Sly" and would smash a bottle of champagne onto thy most excellent bloggingfulness if it didn't mean sacrificing the life of my computer. So here's a picture instead?

Have a nice day.